You can learn a lot about relationships from the front seat of a Lyft. Elda Silva has seen it all — from eager singles on their way to a first date to squabbling couples about to split up. She has also become something of a love expert, hailed by her riders as “a great person to talk to” who doles out “great relationship advice.”

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, we asked Silva some burning love life questions.

Rev: First things first, where should you go for a first date?

Elda: Coffee. It doesn’t put any pressure on anybody. If you don’t like each other, you can easily get out of the situation. But if you are hitting it off, you can just keep the date going and get a meal. 

Whatever you do, don’t go to dinner — it puts too much expectation on the date. If you realize you do not like each other, you still have to finish the meal and conversation. And then, oh god, who’s paying? You just feel terrible.

What should you talk about on a date?

I like to find what someone is passionate about. What gets you out of bed in the morning? It could be something I’ve never heard of, but that’s the most interesting to me! And it warms people up to talk about it.

What’s your personal favorite date?

I really like nice restaurants. It’s fun to try new places. And I still love the movies. And if someone cooks me dinner, that’s always a great date. A museum, too, but only if you both love it, otherwise you’ll be dragging them around.

Do you think opposites attract?

I think so. I dated someone in finance while I was doing design and dancing. We were so different, but we had the best conversations because he was so curious about my creative mind. At the same time, it can be harder to understand each other. He felt like I was so frivolous. 

What are some dating red flags?

People tell on themselves when you first meet them. We have such great expectations for people. We see their potential. But potential isn’t who that person is today.

If someone says they have problems with anger, that’s a red flag. Impatience is another one. Some people will just stand in line and huff. If you don’t like being in line, call in an order or something! Patience is an underrated quality in this very fast-paced world. 

Lying is also a red flag. Even if someone just lies about going to the gym. If they can tell you a small lie, they are comfortable lying and probably lie all the time.

What should you do if you’re ghosted?

Don’t think about it. It’s probably something going on with them, or they have an avoidant personality type and don’t know how to communicate. It’s not about you.

What are the key characteristics of a great relationship?

Having mutual respect for each other and really listening to what the other person is saying. Also being able to defuse things when you’re not getting along. 

I’ve had people arguing in my car, and I’ve said, I’m not going to allow that. They usually tend to quiet down and think about what they’re doing. They respond pretty well. Sometimes they say, “Maybe we needed to hear this from you.”

How do you defuse a fight?

If they like some sort of food, just buy it for them. It’s a small gesture and not very expensive, but it says, “I’m not mad anymore. I know you love this.”

What’s the best way to meet people?

The big one is being open. You can join a club or something — a hiking group, a book club — where people share the same interests and just talk to people.

I would really love to meet someone at the farmers market. Let’s say you’re there and someone’s looking at you, maybe just say hi. Or go up to someone and be like, “Hey, do you like oranges?” I know it’s awkward, but I’ve met people in random places. I’ve had someone from Home Depot ask me on a date. You could really say anything. You just have to open yourself up, and people will open themselves up to you.

Do you believe in love at first sight? 

I believe in lust at first sight. But love? That takes time to build.  

What advice would you give your younger self?

Don’t waste time with someone who doesn’t want the same things as you — your time is precious! Respect people for who they are and let them go when it’s necessary.